Why Lifes Been Hard.

I've been thinking about how to start this post for a while now, I'm still clueless as to how really, so all I'll say, is;

Life has been difficult recently.



You're probably wondering why I'm writing this, well in all honestly I'm not too sure. I think it's so you have some sort of understanding of why I may not have been myself recently. There's been a few little mentions in certain posts where I've kind of said what's been happening, but not fully explained. I think I owe this to you reading, and to anyone who has been, or will go through the same thing.



Go back to a year and a half ago, life was pretty good! I was healthy, enjoyed my job, and was happy. I had an enjoyable home life, and was comfortable in myself. A few months later things started to gradually change, the atmosphere around my house was changing, my health was changing, and my happiness was changing.



I couldn't quite put my finger on why there was such an atmosphere at home, no one told me anything because they thought not knowing would be best for me, wrong. It wasn't until my mum sat me down and told me that she and her boyfriend of 17 years, who had been in my life since I was a baby, were splitting up. We had a lovely home, a lovely family of 5, and I genuinely didn't notice anything was wrong.



The next few months were literally the hardest months of my life. I had to move out of our family home, say goodbye to all the memories in that house, I remember spending that day going from room to room and just thinking about all the christmas' we'd spent opening presents in the living room, the times me and sister would use our bedding to slide down the stairs when we were little, the silly little things that you don't appreciate until your life has to change. My step dad, moved into his own house with my sister, and I moved into my own house with my mum. The family had literally split down the middle and it's the hardest thing to get used to. I miss not having my sister here, we were inseparable and i knew what she was doing every second of every day, we were always together, and now I'm lucky if I see her twice a week for a few hours. She was and still is my best friend. going to move on from this little bit as I'm getting more emosh than i thought i would haha!



Because of this, my health took a turn and my eating got really bad again, I've blogged about my journey with this so I'm not going to go into too much detail, but I became quite poorly, due to not concentrating on what's best for me, and not recognising that I needed to take time out for myself, instead I spent months making sure everyone else was ok, not thinking about my own happiness.
It took a lot for me to realise I needed to help myself, and when I did, it was like a weight was lifted off of my shoulders.



I made sure I took a day a week, to indulge in everything I loved, makeup, blogging, pamper evenings, seeing friends, nights out.. and doing so resulted in me meeting my amazing boyfriend, who has been so supportive during everything. He's seen me struggle and hes seen me progress, and he's not judged me throughout. I can't thank him enough for what hes done for me.

Not forgetting you guys either! The comments you leave me, the emails of support i've received, have done more for me than you will ever know. You truly are such lovely, lovely, people. You've helped shape me back into the person I was before this all happened, and I appreciate that more than I can explain. I was in such a dark place, and now looking at how far I've come, I've really surprised myself!



What this whole thing has made me realise, is that life is going to take horrible turns, you can't avoid it. But you can be prepared for it. Back then, i thought my life was great, nothing could go wrong, and it would stay that way forever. I've never been through anything like that, I didn't know how to deal with my emotions, and why would I? Life will never be easy, but what you can do is make the most of every moment you have, I now live my life making the best out of every situation. I think it's the best way.



So this is why theres been a lack of blog posts, and im sorry about that, but now i can honestly say,

I'm Happy.

and that's partly down to you guys, so thank you for being so supportive, I love you all an awful lot

<3

Sophxo