Eeeek I'm now 2 weeks & 5 days away from my due date and I won't lie, the realisation of 'shit, I have to birth an actual human' has finally hit me.
I say finally, because Ive been so calm about the whole thing up until now. My mums been constantly asking me (aka; checking up on me) how I'm feeling about the whole thing, and has been really surprised when I just don't seem overly fussed. Ask me now though, and I could give you a list of all the things I'm overthinking or worrying about.
Buuuut, im not going to tell her that. The moment she knows I'm even slightly nervous about it is the moment where i'll no doubt be smothered, and I'm the kind of person who doesn't want anyone close to me to know that I'm nervous about it, I give off this really confident vibe when actually I'm shitting myself haha. Makes no sense because here I am telling all of you via my blog how terrified I am at the fact I have to push a tiny human out of me, the pain, the bloody pain. Anyway, I've gradually begun getting for labour, so making sure I've got everything for my hospital bag, the babies hospital bag, etcetc. Who knew that at the grand age of 21 id be popping into Boots to buy nipple pads, and gigantic pads for my sore vagina?! Not me haha!!
The bag was delivered today so I can actually get myself sorted ready for the off; like I've already said my due date is only just over 2 weeks away so essentially, baby could appear whenever he bloody well likes, you better believe I'm avoiding Tesco at all costs, imagine my waters breaking down the frozen food isle?!
We also found out last Friday that baby has finally turned, about time too because he was breech the whole way through. Now he's turned though, means he's getting himself into position to be born which again, tells me it could happen any day now. Golly.
Aside from being overly worried about birthing this tiny human, everything is going smoothly, babies room is ready for the off, & we have hundreds of nappies so hopefully we won't be running out any time soon. Luckily I've bought a pack or two every month which has been so handy, good thinking Soph, I'm full to the brim of knowledge of how to actually care for a baby after that being my full time job for 5 years, so I think we'll do just fine.
Until then, I have no doubt in my mind that I'll continue to worry about labour and becoming a mum, but hopefully (really, really hopeful here) I'll be a good one.
We cannot wait to meet our little man.
Soph,x